The nitpicking thread
- jack1974
- Pack leader
- Posts: 15479
- Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2005 4:43 pm
Re: The nitpicking thread
Thanks! To avoid the forum kicking you should probably use "automatically log in" or something. Or like I do, make a post, post it and then edit (or use the save draft button)
- fabulaparva
- Elder Druid
- Posts: 761
- Joined: Sun May 04, 2014 9:58 pm
Re: The nitpicking thread
It's a sickness of mine to never use any "automatically" does this or that on webpages. I guess I'll try to post earlier and then EDIT so I won't be lagged out. Hasn't been a problem before.
Anyway, Steam tunnels.
First fight arrow
Shadow
"This looks the only safe way. You've spotted a shadow here. What it was?"
Rewording suggestion+grammar:
'This looks like the only safe way forward. You spotted a shadow. What was it?'
2-3 fights later another arrow:
Explore
"We need to squeeze through this hole, hopefully the lizardmen aren't prepating an ambush!"
=>
'We need to squeeze through this hole. Hopefully the lizardmen aren't preparing to ambush us'
Anyway, Steam tunnels.
First fight arrow
Shadow
"This looks the only safe way. You've spotted a shadow here. What it was?"
Rewording suggestion+grammar:
'This looks like the only safe way forward. You spotted a shadow. What was it?'
2-3 fights later another arrow:
Explore
"We need to squeeze through this hole, hopefully the lizardmen aren't prepating an ambush!"
=>
'We need to squeeze through this hole. Hopefully the lizardmen aren't preparing to ambush us'
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- Young scout
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Mon Dec 02, 2013 7:44 am
Re: The nitpicking thread
I'm not up to this bit so I'm operating without context, but I'm not a fan of adding the word 'forward.' Seems a little redundant to me.fabulaparva wrote: First fight arrow
Shadow
"This looks the only safe way. You've spotted a shadow here. What it was?"
Rewording suggestion+grammar:
'This looks like the only safe way forward. You spotted a shadow. What was it?'
Anyway I'm happy to see suggestions for the skill descriptions being made . Some of them left me a little confused.
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- Young scout
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- Joined: Mon Dec 02, 2013 7:44 am
Re: The nitpicking thread
VAELIS’ Skill:
Disarm - Hits single staggered target with 150% normal damage and causes paralysed condition for up to 2 turns and scared condition for up to 5 turns (if not boss.)
The problem with this description is this – I can’t tell if it’s just the scared condition that bosses are immune to, or if it’s both the paralysed AND scared condition. My proposal is as follows:
Disarm - Hits a staggered opponent for 150% weapon damage. Inflicts paralysis for 2 turns and fear for 5 turns in all but the toughest enemies.
I made the assumption that it’s both the Paralysed AND the Scared conditions which bosses are immune to. I used “toughest enemies” as a euphemism for boss. I split it up into two sentences to reduce confusion. And I changed the term “scared condition” to “fear” and "normal damage" to "weapon damage" because it sounds snazzier .
Disarm - Hits single staggered target with 150% normal damage and causes paralysed condition for up to 2 turns and scared condition for up to 5 turns (if not boss.)
The problem with this description is this – I can’t tell if it’s just the scared condition that bosses are immune to, or if it’s both the paralysed AND scared condition. My proposal is as follows:
Disarm - Hits a staggered opponent for 150% weapon damage. Inflicts paralysis for 2 turns and fear for 5 turns in all but the toughest enemies.
I made the assumption that it’s both the Paralysed AND the Scared conditions which bosses are immune to. I used “toughest enemies” as a euphemism for boss. I split it up into two sentences to reduce confusion. And I changed the term “scared condition” to “fear” and "normal damage" to "weapon damage" because it sounds snazzier .
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- Elder Druid
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- Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 2:23 am
Re: The nitpicking thread
"In all" or "on all"?
- jack1974
- Pack leader
- Posts: 15479
- Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2005 4:43 pm
Re: The nitpicking thread
I need to include the word boss, because "toughest enemies" is subjective: there could be normal enemies with higher HP than bosses (like the Dark Wizard fight). Is better be clear otherwise people don't understand what I mean
Actually is only the paralyzed condition that doesn't apply, so I'm thinking to just change it simply like:
"Hits single staggered target with 150% normal damage and causes paralyzed condition for up to 2 turns (if not boss) and scared condition for up to 5 turns."
Actually is only the paralyzed condition that doesn't apply, so I'm thinking to just change it simply like:
"Hits single staggered target with 150% normal damage and causes paralyzed condition for up to 2 turns (if not boss) and scared condition for up to 5 turns."
- fabulaparva
- Elder Druid
- Posts: 761
- Joined: Sun May 04, 2014 9:58 pm
Re: The nitpicking thread
^How about:
"Hits a staggered target with 150% normal dmg and inflicts paralysis for 2 turns max (excluding bosses) and fear for 5 turns max."
Too short?
"Hits a staggered target with 150% normal dmg and inflicts paralysis for 2 turns max (excluding bosses) and fear for 5 turns max."
Too short?
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- Young scout
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Mon Dec 02, 2013 7:44 am
Re: The nitpicking thread
Ah balls, I assumed wrong XD. Your new sentence makes things clear so I’m fine with that. I think others are offering a lot of suggestions regarding style and grammar, so I’ll just post stuff here if (for example) I find skill descriptions confusing.
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- Young scout
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Mon Dec 02, 2013 7:44 am
Re: The nitpicking thread
I have no idea if the following still applies to the latest build of the game (I'm on version 1.0)
I just flicked through the forum to read about the condition your opponent needs to be in before "critical hit" can be applied. This is because there's no indication in the skill description that it requires your opponent to be staggered before the attack can be initiated. I'm okay with this but I would love for the skill description to be modified, I just spent the last 10 minutes wondering why the skill wasn't available at the start of a fight...
I just flicked through the forum to read about the condition your opponent needs to be in before "critical hit" can be applied. This is because there's no indication in the skill description that it requires your opponent to be staggered before the attack can be initiated. I'm okay with this but I would love for the skill description to be modified, I just spent the last 10 minutes wondering why the skill wasn't available at the start of a fight...
- jack1974
- Pack leader
- Posts: 15479
- Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2005 4:43 pm
Re: The nitpicking thread
Yeah sorry, that was one case in which my brain thought it also modified the description, instead it didn't!!
I recommend you update to 1.0.2 though, there was a bug in Vaelis' Focus Opponent (saves are compatible so no worries).
I recommend you update to 1.0.2 though, there was a bug in Vaelis' Focus Opponent (saves are compatible so no worries).