The nitpicking thread

The tale of the siblings Althea and Shea https://www.winterwolves.com/seasonsofthewolf.htm
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jack1974
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by jack1974 »

Thanks. Yes by "total" I meant current HP so will change that too :)
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fabulaparva
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by fabulaparva »

Failing Rowinda's quest-, I noticed that you'll only fail the quest if you fail the second fight. There's a bit of a plothole If you fail the first fight:
Spoiler:
the story tells that Merrow and Rowinda got beaten up by the ferrymen, and Qamar saved them by throwing smoke potions which made those fairies/ferrymen retreat. .. But then, a few lines later, we get back to Rowinda and Merrow discussing how they killed the ferrymen...and the quest continues as if you had won the fight.
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jack1974
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by jack1974 »

Ah lol thanks, will fix it!!
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fabulaparva
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by fabulaparva »

Just a couple of nitpicks/typos from diverse locations:

Merrow's Men -- when you try to use the Green Arrow to rest at NM-level and get told no:
Jariel: "Is not safe to stop now. We must go on."
Should be "It's not safe to stop....."

Althea: "All right let's go then!"
Suggestion: "All right then, let's go!"

Spoiler:
When you win against the "watery harlot" in Nutty Nut's treasure quest:
Krimm: "Is obviously in another cave."
Should be: "It's obviously..."
Last available bathhouse session between Althea and Riley:
Riley: "...um, yeah. That sound somewhat reasonable to me."
"sounds"
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jack1974
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by jack1974 »

Thanks, I always forget to write "It's"!! :)
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yayswords
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by yayswords »

jack1974 wrote:Thanks, I always forget to write "It's"!! :)
That's why I can safely blame you for another immersion affront.

Jariel
No, is not normal honey at all! Whoever eats it will regain full health and energy!

Change to something like

No, it's not normal honey at all! Its healing power is legendary!

Taleweaver can fine-tune it but at least it doesn't offend the English language or break immersion anymore.
If at first try it doesn't explode, it ain't Jack who wrote the code.
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jack1974
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by jack1974 »

OK will change that :lol:
Troyen
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by Troyen »

Rowinda's Bath (Tooltip):
"...This option is only available at certain point of the story." Should be "points".
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fabulaparva
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by fabulaparva »

Act 3 Flashback Quests have some immersion breaking/typos happening upon completing them. The characters don't "complete" their quests, the player does. So the info boxes feel a bit confusing:
Spoiler:
Vaelis: "By completing his flashback quest, Vaelis remembered how much he loves the twins and how he wants to protect them: from now on, he can use the Protect skill too during combat."
Rowinda:" By completing his flashback quest, Rowinda remembered that she was eager to try her Raise Dead spell on her fallen friends, thinking that it would be 'almost safe'. You now have access to a new Raise Dead spell during combat!"
I'd suggest to either edit these to be just short and sweet info for the player that something's been unlocked or into a description on them remembering their old skills after the storytelling, without mentioning the "quest completion."

Some examples how it could be done. (But someone better in English/writing might need to look these over.... :oops: )
Spoiler:
Vaelis:
Info-box version: "By completing Vaelis' flashback quest, you've unlocked the Protect-skill."
Story version: Recounting the past reminded Vaelis' of his pledge to always protect the twins. He leaves the bathhouse with his mind set to further better his protective skills before the next battle.

Rowinda:
Info-box version: "By completing Rowinda's flashback quest, you've unlocked a new spell called Raise Dead."
Story version: After telling the story of capturing the unicorn, Rowinda remembered how successful she had been in reanimating the dead ferrymen. Planning for just a couple of tweaks, she's now eager to try her 'Raise Dead' spell on her friends, should they fall in combat. After all, it should be 'almost safe.'
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jack1974
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by jack1974 »

Yes that's a good idea. I'll wait to see if Taleweaver wants to fix the wording/grammar/etc or will ask one of my other writers (is just 2 sentences anyway).
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