The nitpicking thread

The tale of the siblings Althea and Shea https://www.winterwolves.com/seasonsofthewolf.htm
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yayswords
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The nitpicking thread

Post by yayswords »

Feel free to post here any offense to the English language you find within the game. Make sure to provide context, so that Jack can easily find the foul quote in his files. Nothing is too small to be posted here! The thread has no other purpose, other than perhaps opining on other people's nitpicks.

Bear but one thing in mind, however. Characters are characters, just like you and I are. And just like you and I, they don't inherently have perfect English skills. You might find something that is technically wrong to say, but you may also find it appropriate for the character to not know better. It's your call.
If at first try it doesn't explode, it ain't Jack who wrote the code.
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yayswords
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by yayswords »

Riley, end of act 2
So the Grand Mogul wasn't lying that I could...
I'm pretty sure it should be "lying when he said that I could"

Vaelis, after defeating the Brothers Ironmonger
I hope we don't have to kill them.
I want won't in place of don't. Meaning, I hope we will not be ordered to kill them. Don't sounds more like, I hope we aren't obliged to kill them. This is before Yeldin has given the order, so it doesn't really make sense that Vaelis would express hope that Yeldin isn't serious about it.

Announcer at the insect pitfight
who is going to stop this great insect's road to fame?
I've never tried stopping a road, it could be interesting... I think you meant "this great insect on its road to fame" :)
If at first try it doesn't explode, it ain't Jack who wrote the code.
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fabulaparva
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by fabulaparva »

yayswords wrote: Announcer at the insect pitfight
who is going to stop this great insect's road to fame?
I've never tried stopping a road, it could be interesting... I think you meant "this great insect on its road to fame" :)
Could also be "to stop this great insect on its road to fame." :P

(Just to state the obvious: I'm not native in English. Just sort of an on-and-off hobbyist when it comes to finding typos. I usually make most of them myself. :P)
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yayswords
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by yayswords »

Didn't we just say the same thing? I just didn't include the whole quote there :)
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fabulaparva
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by fabulaparva »

Lulz, we did. :lol: My bad.
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jack1974
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by jack1974 »

Fixed them all! :)
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fabulaparva
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by fabulaparva »

Not so sure about this, but in the beginning of Krimm's flashback:
"Atli once had a son who had wooed me, Leif, but...."
Imho it would make more sense to have the name right after who it belongs to instead of having it after the reference to the narrator, Krimm.
"Atli once had a son, Leif, who had wooed me, but..." Or otherwise differently arranged so that it doesn't seem like Leif = "me".
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jack1974
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by jack1974 »

I'll see what writer says on this one, I'm not 100% sure myself :)
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by Taleweaver »

fabulaparva's right; the other way around is better.
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jack1974
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Re: The nitpicking thread

Post by jack1974 »

OK changed then!
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