Nicole (otome) Steam Typos / 1 Suggestion

A mystery life sim set in college http://www.winterwolves.com/nicole.htm
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Miakoda
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Nicole (otome) Steam Typos / 1 Suggestion

Post by Miakoda »

Heh, as you can surmise, this is a Typo thread for the Nicole (otome) Steam version. There are very few typos, but a couple did sneak by.

Original:
Ted
Simply put, what kind of music would you be if you were music?'

Suggestion:
You have an apostrophe after music? that should be removed.

Original:
Jeff
You can call it something like that. I'm actually here to give him something. Where is the lone ranger?

Suggestion:
I would capitalize 'lone ranger' to 'Lone Ranger'. As a proper name and all that, even if a movie figure.

Original:
The girl squeals in surprise as she spots it's Jeff who called out to her.

Suggestion:
I'd recommend removing the "it's" as it doesn't fit in the sentence.

Original:
Visiting the places that Julie Chiers volunteered at seemed like it'd be a great idea! But now that I've followed through and tried to do it, I realize that it was a bit much to ask for.

Suggestion:
'Julie' should be 'Yulie'

Original:
Jeff
I'm simply much more efficient that I gave myself credit for!

Suggestion:
I'd recommend changing 'that' to 'than':
I'm simply much more efficient than I gave myself credit for!

Original:
He leans in and whisper conspiratorially to me.

Suggestion:
'Whisper' should be 'whispers' since it is a verb in this case.

Original:
Does Darren wants to know so badly that it's come to this? He has to yell at me to get me to talk? He never yells.

Suggestion:
'wants' should be 'want':
Does Darren want to know so badly that it's come to this?

Also, as a recommendation, is it possible to color the save of the last game's time? You do have that with the golden squares in each corner, but some people are more likely to notice the highlighted time.
nightshadengale
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Re: Nicole (otome) Steam Typos / 1 Suggestion

Post by nightshadengale »

Was the game edited much before going on Steam? I have a text file of typos/continuity issues I noticed when playing it shortly after it came out, but I never did anything with them because there wasn't a thread for it at the time. Contents are below (sorry if some of these have already been corrected.)
One of the earlier scenes in the convenience store w/ Ted: "You shouldn't have went and told a girl she's gonna gain weight" --It should be "have gone"

In the lab at night, why is Jeff wearing a suit and not his lab coat? Same for when he's working in the pharmacy. (I do like the suit, and I could totally go for Jeff doing experiments in a suit alone at night if that sort of oddity was intended, but pharmacy techs wear lab coats.)

"You've gained access to a new job: Laboratory Assitant" Should be "assistant"

Darren cafeteria scene: "I still think you should have went" -- Should be "have gone." This seems particularly out-of-place for Darren since he seems like he'd be grammatically precise.

Jeff, pharmacy: "I wouldn't hire you if it was easy" -- Should technically be "were easy." This is a realistic error, but Jeff is enough of an arrogant intellectual that I'd expect him to use the subjunctive tense.
"Familial, sexual, platonically: " -- Should be "platonic"
"The moment he starts screaming I lean forward and place a hand over his loudmouth" -- Loud mouth should be two words in this context
Nicole : "We shouldn't psyche ourselves out yet" -- "Psyche" is the noun. "Psych" is the verb.

"Psyche" is also used if you sound confident about tutoring Kurt
Also when he calls you in during the football game

"I did write about Kurt in my blog. It was after our first meeting ever" -- The tutoring wasn't their first meeting
Kurt also mentions it being their first meeting when he comments on the blog post.

There's a scene in the middle of the game in the convenience store where Jeff and Ted are introduced as if we're not already familiar with them. ("Jeff is an upperclassman I know through my biology class[...]")

Scene in convenience store where Jeff comes in: "There are enough, but way less than I was expecting" -- Should be "fewer"

Scene where you meet Ron: Nicole - "If my store was sucking" -- Should be "If my store sucked"

Scene after you kiss Ted: "I like to think it's because I make less mistakes" -- Should be fewer

Ted special: says Yulie was taken last month, but the scene occurs several months after the start of the game

Jeff special: "They only seemed to quench your desire for investigation" -- quench is the opposite of what's intended here
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Miakoda
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Re: Nicole (otome) Steam Typos / 1 Suggestion

Post by Miakoda »

nightshadengale wrote:Was the game edited much before going on Steam? I have a text file of typos/continuity issues I noticed when playing it shortly after it came out, but I never did anything with them because there wasn't a thread for it at the time. Contents are below (sorry if some of these have already been corrected.)
The game hasn't been released on Steam yet; it will be released later this month. I've spent a lot of hours testing the Steam build to try and find any errors ;)

As for some of the typos--I did notice them, but didn't report them since many of them I attributed to how the character speaks.

As I'm not the writer, the following comments aren't meant to be a disagreement, just a slightly different perspective.
In the lab at night, why is Jeff wearing a suit and not his lab coat?
I actually attributed this to fact that Jeff since Jeff sees himself as a modern day alchemist, he would dress the part as it were.
Jeff special: "They only seemed to quench your desire for investigation" -- quench is the opposite of what's intended here
There are actually some other sentences where what Jeff says is actually different than his meaning. I figured this was a deliberate choice on the writer's part to make Jeff for while he may be well educated, he still screws up on the language.
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jack1974
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Re: Nicole (otome) Steam Typos / 1 Suggestion

Post by jack1974 »

Yes I think the writer meant some typos/words, also for example with Ted, or certain things Nicole says. I'm not expert (or better I can't catch those things since I'm not native English speaker) so I trust him on this :mrgreen:
nightshadengale
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Re: Nicole (otome) Steam Typos / 1 Suggestion

Post by nightshadengale »

Miakoda wrote:
nightshadengale wrote:Was the game edited much before going on Steam? I have a text file of typos/continuity issues I noticed when playing it shortly after it came out, but I never did anything with them because there wasn't a thread for it at the time. Contents are below (sorry if some of these have already been corrected.)
The game hasn't been released on Steam yet; it will be released later this month. I've spent a lot of hours testing the Steam build to try and find any errors ;)

As for some of the typos--I did notice them, but didn't report them since many of them I attributed to how the character speaks.

As I'm not the writer, the following comments aren't meant to be a disagreement, just a slightly different perspective.
In the lab at night, why is Jeff wearing a suit and not his lab coat?
I actually attributed this to fact that Jeff since Jeff sees himself as a modern day alchemist, he would dress the part as it were.
Jeff special: "They only seemed to quench your desire for investigation" -- quench is the opposite of what's intended here
There are actually some other sentences where what Jeff says is actually different than his meaning. I figured this was a deliberate choice on the writer's part to make Jeff for while he may be well educated, he still screws up on the language.
Yes, I do think a number of them make sense as spoken errors rather than issues with the script--forgot to put that disclaimer on all of them. (I think I see-sawed a bit on "write down everything" versus "only write down the ones that sound unnatural" as I was playing and intended to clean it up when I posted--but it's been long enough that I don't remember the context or speaker for most of it anymore.) The only grammatical errors that really seemed out of place to me were in Darren's lines and potentially Jeff's--although I'd buy "likes to use big words but isn't always precise" for Jeff.

Regarding the specific points you mentioned--
Yeah, as I said I could go for the lab coat being an eccentricity when he's alone in the lab at night--the pharmacy is where I really don't think it makes sense.

I didn't notice any other places where Jeff used a word that differed from his meaning, but if it's a regular speech quirk for him, that'd make sense.
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Miakoda
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Re: Nicole (otome) Steam Typos / 1 Suggestion

Post by Miakoda »

nightshadengale wrote:I didn't notice any other places where Jeff used a word that differed from his meaning, but if it's a regular speech quirk for him, that'd make sense.
There is one line where Jeff said (and I'm paraphrasing without opening the game), "This is an action which I can capitulate on" and a normal person would say "...which I can capitalize on". This sentence, the quench one you mentioned, and another one or two is why I figured it was a speech quirk.
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