jack1974 wrote:No you can still report them but will wait to fix after is live on Steam for a month or so
Fair enough.
These are all rather minor, if somewhat numerous fixes at that, and I know you are definitely busy with other things.
Another typo:
Original:
Michelle Lefleur
My ex boyfriend Marcus...the one that joined the rebels...was killed by an Empire patrol today. He tried to ambush them, but he was unsuccessful.
Suggestion:
'ex boyfriend' should have a hyphen to get 'ex-boyfriend'
Original:
I've met Damien, the rebels leader.
Suggestion:
I'd recommend either making 'rebels' possessive, or remove the s from it to get:
I've met Damien, the rebel leader.
Original:
Joshua Nelson
Who are you? What you want?
Suggestion:
Put a 'do' before want to get
Who are you? What do you want?
Original:
Joshua Nelson
All the awful things we humans did in the past...it was because King Oscar. Most of us didn't even known about his terrible wrong doings.
Suggestion:
Put 'of' before 'King'. Also, 'wrong doings' should be one word. Finally, 'known' should be 'know'. And you would get:
All the awful things we humans did in the past...it was because of King Oscar. Most of us didn't even know about his terrible wrongdoings.
Original:
Jacob Miles
Yes, it looks like a Robobrain nest. They're like rats, they take advantage of abandoned buildings like this.
Suggestion:
The comma should be a semicolon to get:
...They're like rats; they take advantage of abandoned buildings like this.
Original:
Joshua Nelson
What you mean?
Suggestion?
I'd recommend adding a 'd' after What. This dialogue occurs while talking to Queen Shiler at the end.
What do you mean?
Original:
Marada's Queen Shiler
And I think you know already Damien, right?
Suggestion:
Just rearrange this sentence:
And I think you already know Damien, right?
Original:
Damien Vargas
My rebels and I will help you, Shiler. Now we know who is our true enemy!
Suggestion:
I'd recommend moving 'is' to after 'enemy' to get:
My rebels and I will help you, Shiler. Now we know who our true enemy is!
Original:
Tom Shatz
That is a model06 RoboAnt! And you sent these two recruits against it?!
Suggestion:
Earlier, a mention of the robot had 'model' and '06' separated by a space, and this entry has them together. It does look like there should be a space here.
Original:
Lisa Nelson
(Despite by best efforts to hold back a laugh, I let out a small chuckle.)
Suggestion:
The 'by' should be 'my' to get:
(Despite my best efforts to hold back a laugh, I let out a small chuckle.)
Original:
(talking with Queen Sophia)
Lisa Nelson
Why you say that?
Suggestion:
Add a 'do' after the 'Why' to get:
Why do you say that?
Original:
Michelle Lafleur
My ex boyfriend Marcus...the one that joined the rebels...was killed by an Empire patrol today. He tried to ambush them, but he was unsuccessful.
Suggestion:
'ex boyfriend' should be hyphenated to 'ex-boyfriend'.
Original:
Michelle Lafleur
I understand. So, what you want to do?
Suggestion:
There should be another 'do' after 'what' to get:
I understand. So, what do you want to do?
Original:
Lisa Nelson
What you want for this one?
Suggestion:
There should be a 'do' after the 'What' to get:
What do you want for this one?
Original:
Damien Vargas
There's a whole mess going on, and you keep coming visting me just to do small talk!? What's up with that?
Suggestion:
I would change 'visting' to the infinitive 'to visit' to get:
There's a whole mess going on, and you keep coming to visit me just to do small talk!? What's up with that?
Original:
Lisa Nelson
Yes, and for a moment...I thought to have seen something you. But I was wrong, obviously.
Suggestion:
The middle of the sentence is a bit rough. You might go with something like this:
Yes, and for a moment...I thought I saw something in you. But I was wrong, obviously.
Original:
Tom Shatz:
What you mean? Lisa, I love you!
Suggestion:
Put a 'do' after the 'What' to get:
What do you mean? Lisa, I love you!
Original:
Lisa Nelson
Oh! That's...I mean, is not a problem for me, but I'm surprised.
Suggestion:
Change the 'is' to 'it's' to get:
Oh, That's...I mean, it's not a problem for me, but I'm surprised.