Steam Testing
Posted: Sat May 03, 2014 2:25 am
I know the official release is a ways off, but I will make a small thread for minor typos, etc. that I come across. There won't be a whole lot here as I'm going to be preoccupied for the next couple days with work, etc. Afterward should be fine (and also a chance to play SotW ).
Achievements:
Okay, pictures will be added to the achievements later, so at least that isn't a bug.
Loading game:
Unless I am misremembering, but I believe the last save used to be highlighted in Yellow. That doesn't occur here.
Original:
At the start, if you choose the noble
While living as a noble, you were never lacking.
Suggestion:
The last part of the sentence feels a bit rough. You might consider going with 'you never lacked for anything.'
Original:
Your research, wisdom and concentration greatly increase, but as side effect you've lost creativity, dexterity, and art.
Suggestion:
Put an 'a' after 'as' to get and a comma after 'effect'
Your research, wisdom and concentration greatly increase, but as a side effect, you've lost creativity, dexterity, and art.
Original:
They're have the advantage in numbers, but the mercenaries' skills and weapons are superior, and they defeat the bandits easily.
Suggestion:
The 'They're' should simple be 'They' to get:
They have the advantages in numbers, but the mercenaries' skill and weapons are superior, and they defeat the bandits easily.
Original:
This is the status screen: from here you can see your character sheet, change job, and in general monitor your progress during the game. In the beginning, only certain jobs are available, because the more advanced ones have higher minimum requirements.
Suggestion:
I would add an 's' to 'job' so the phrase is 'change jobs'
Original:
Yana
I'm trying to thinking. I need absolute quiet.
Suggestion:
Change 'thinking' to 'think' to get:
I'm trying to think. I need absolute quiet.
Original:
I couldn't believe she tricked me! But...she seemed so believable!
I wonder if she really does realize she's spoiled or not?
Suggestion:
I recommend changing 'couldn't' to 'can't'. This would make it more in the present tense.
Original:
Either way, the chickens needed to be caught before I lost my job. I grumble and head back to the coop.
Suggestion:
The first sentence is past tense, and the second is present tense. I would recommend making the first sentence present tense as well by changing 'needed' to 'need' and 'lost' to 'lose' to get:
Either way, the chickens need to be caughter before I lose my job. I grumble and head back to the coop.
Original:
Ramas:
My name is Ramas, and I am the captain of the imperial guards.
Suggestion:
As an important position, I would capitalize 'Captain' and 'Imperial Guards' to get:
My name is Ramas, and I am the Captain of the Imperial Guards.
Original:
Hellen
My name is Hellen, what do you want?
Suggestion:
Make two separate sentences after Hellen to get:
My name is Hellen. What do you want?
Original:
From the look on his face, I assume he didn't expect a girl like me be a guard.
Suggestion:
You need a 'to' before the 'be' to get:
From the look on his face, I assume he didn't expect a girl like me to be a guard
Original:
You were a lonely kid, since your father was busy with his duties as a General, so your social skills didn't develop well. Luckily, your nanny was kind, and she raised you well; you spent a lot of time studying with her and when your father was home, he trained you, raising your dexterity. But in such a rigid environment you lost some creativity.
Suggestion:
You can remove the comma after 'kid' in the first sentence. I would also make a new sentence after the phrase '...studying with her'. The reason for this is the first sentence would refer to your nanny, while the second one refers to your father. You could start a new sentence with ‘When your father’ and combine the last phrase (the one starting with ‘But’) into the sentence. It could look like:
Luckily, your nanny was kind and she raised you well; you spent a lot of time studying with her. When your father was home, he trained you, raising your dexterity, but in such a rigid environment you lost some creativity.
Original:
Your father has his own private library which is locked at all time, and nobody has permission to enter.
Suggestion:
Change 'at all' to 'all the' to get:
Your father has his own private library which is locked all the time, and nobody has permission to enter.
Original:
He misses the army a lot, the thrill of battle. Even though he knows that too old to fight anymore.
Suggestion:
The two sentences above should be one since you are using a transition in 'even though'. Additionally change the 'that' to 'he is' to get:
He misses the army a lot, the thrill of battle; even though he knows he is too old to fight anymore.
Original:
The cave is not south-east of Triberg, not south.
Suggestion:
Two negatives. I think you meant:
The cave is south-east of Triberg, not south.
Original:
Wow...her mood changed so suddenly. But it's interesting to see her so happy about something.
Suggestion:
Make the two into one sentence to get:
Wow...her mood changed so suddenly, but it's interesting to see her so happy about something.
Original:
Tell a lie, saying that you haven't any money.
Suggestion:
Change 'haven't' to 'don't have' to get:
Tell a lie, saying that you don't have any money.
Achievements:
Okay, pictures will be added to the achievements later, so at least that isn't a bug.
Loading game:
Unless I am misremembering, but I believe the last save used to be highlighted in Yellow. That doesn't occur here.
Original:
At the start, if you choose the noble
While living as a noble, you were never lacking.
Suggestion:
The last part of the sentence feels a bit rough. You might consider going with 'you never lacked for anything.'
Original:
Your research, wisdom and concentration greatly increase, but as side effect you've lost creativity, dexterity, and art.
Suggestion:
Put an 'a' after 'as' to get and a comma after 'effect'
Your research, wisdom and concentration greatly increase, but as a side effect, you've lost creativity, dexterity, and art.
Original:
They're have the advantage in numbers, but the mercenaries' skills and weapons are superior, and they defeat the bandits easily.
Suggestion:
The 'They're' should simple be 'They' to get:
They have the advantages in numbers, but the mercenaries' skill and weapons are superior, and they defeat the bandits easily.
Original:
This is the status screen: from here you can see your character sheet, change job, and in general monitor your progress during the game. In the beginning, only certain jobs are available, because the more advanced ones have higher minimum requirements.
Suggestion:
I would add an 's' to 'job' so the phrase is 'change jobs'
Original:
Yana
I'm trying to thinking. I need absolute quiet.
Suggestion:
Change 'thinking' to 'think' to get:
I'm trying to think. I need absolute quiet.
Original:
I couldn't believe she tricked me! But...she seemed so believable!
I wonder if she really does realize she's spoiled or not?
Suggestion:
I recommend changing 'couldn't' to 'can't'. This would make it more in the present tense.
Original:
Either way, the chickens needed to be caught before I lost my job. I grumble and head back to the coop.
Suggestion:
The first sentence is past tense, and the second is present tense. I would recommend making the first sentence present tense as well by changing 'needed' to 'need' and 'lost' to 'lose' to get:
Either way, the chickens need to be caughter before I lose my job. I grumble and head back to the coop.
Original:
Ramas:
My name is Ramas, and I am the captain of the imperial guards.
Suggestion:
As an important position, I would capitalize 'Captain' and 'Imperial Guards' to get:
My name is Ramas, and I am the Captain of the Imperial Guards.
Original:
Hellen
My name is Hellen, what do you want?
Suggestion:
Make two separate sentences after Hellen to get:
My name is Hellen. What do you want?
Original:
From the look on his face, I assume he didn't expect a girl like me be a guard.
Suggestion:
You need a 'to' before the 'be' to get:
From the look on his face, I assume he didn't expect a girl like me to be a guard
Original:
You were a lonely kid, since your father was busy with his duties as a General, so your social skills didn't develop well. Luckily, your nanny was kind, and she raised you well; you spent a lot of time studying with her and when your father was home, he trained you, raising your dexterity. But in such a rigid environment you lost some creativity.
Suggestion:
You can remove the comma after 'kid' in the first sentence. I would also make a new sentence after the phrase '...studying with her'. The reason for this is the first sentence would refer to your nanny, while the second one refers to your father. You could start a new sentence with ‘When your father’ and combine the last phrase (the one starting with ‘But’) into the sentence. It could look like:
Luckily, your nanny was kind and she raised you well; you spent a lot of time studying with her. When your father was home, he trained you, raising your dexterity, but in such a rigid environment you lost some creativity.
Original:
Your father has his own private library which is locked at all time, and nobody has permission to enter.
Suggestion:
Change 'at all' to 'all the' to get:
Your father has his own private library which is locked all the time, and nobody has permission to enter.
Original:
He misses the army a lot, the thrill of battle. Even though he knows that too old to fight anymore.
Suggestion:
The two sentences above should be one since you are using a transition in 'even though'. Additionally change the 'that' to 'he is' to get:
He misses the army a lot, the thrill of battle; even though he knows he is too old to fight anymore.
Original:
The cave is not south-east of Triberg, not south.
Suggestion:
Two negatives. I think you meant:
The cave is south-east of Triberg, not south.
Original:
Wow...her mood changed so suddenly. But it's interesting to see her so happy about something.
Suggestion:
Make the two into one sentence to get:
Wow...her mood changed so suddenly, but it's interesting to see her so happy about something.
Original:
Tell a lie, saying that you haven't any money.
Suggestion:
Change 'haven't' to 'don't have' to get:
Tell a lie, saying that you don't have any money.