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P_Tigras
I think you have a lot of points,I mean... MAYBE the initial idea(at least this os the vibe I've got by seing the romance cg art but I could be mistaken) was to make 4 endings. One where Amber get together with only Reed(Light Plus), other with both of them(MAYBE Light), other with only Cosmina(Dark) and one with no one(Dark Plus). However, since is a Poly romance, they decided to change, but still used the same CG's.


Looking at the CG's only, it looks like:



Dark Plus: Amber is banished with a tearful Cosmina and Amber both looking devastated. Reed looks on with a slight frown.

Dark: Amber ends up alone sitting in a window which she gazes out of. Her face is not shown.

Light: Amber ends up with Cosmina. They gaze at each other adoringly as they hold hands and travel the world together.

Light Plus: Amber ends up marrying Reed. Cosmina does not appear to be at the wedding.

Threesome: Amber ends up getting both Cosmina and Reed, as they're all in bed together. (I know this isn't an ending, but none of the actual ending CG's show Amber ending up with both Cosmina and Reed.)



So the Dark Plus and Dark CG's make it look like Amber gets neither, the Light CG makes it look like Amber gets Cosmina, and the Light Plus CG makes it look like Amber gets Reed. Then there's the threesome CG where Amber gets both, but that's not an ending.


Now, let's talk about it story wise...



I think the king(I wish I knew their names so i can make a proper fanfic, but whatever)


The King and Queen of Icesilia's names are never mentioned in the story. Apparently their names are considered unimportant. But yes, I'd prefer that they'd have been named too.


let Amber to marry both of Reed and Cosmina out of pure amusement. He was too shocked with the fact that the Panacea actually worked to bother with the long consequences of this kind of marriage,


Whether or not the King reacts well to Amber's request to marry both Reed and Cosmina is fairly arbitrary. If you get the Light Plus ending he reacts well, while if you get the Dark ending, he reacts poorly and turns her down. This reminds me of why I disliked Bionic Hearts 2 so much. The endings were arbitrary and heavy-handed. The actions of the protagonist in the various endings didn't make sense to me, and often seemed contrary to the character's established personality. I much prefer it when a writer stays true to a character's personality and doesn't change the personality just to make something happen. After posting once or twice I entirely dropped out of the BH2 thread and mostly have confined myself to the RPG's section of this forum. Amber isn't anywhere near that bad, but I find this entire Dark Plus/Dark/Light/Light Plus mechanic artificial and contrived. I'm a firm believer in cause and effect, and allowing entirely unrelated decisions that the King will never witness nor learn about affect his decision to grant or deny Amber's request very seriously rubs me the wrong way.


and let's not forget that while Cosmina and Reed aren't directly related as a brother and sister, they probably are cousins(Since they are so alike, I would say first or second cousins); so depending on how the kindow views this kind of relation, it might be better to have a marriage between a Dark Elf and the prince than one between two cousins. After all, in the middle ages, this kind of thing was pretty common between most of the royalty, with a few exceptions to the rules.


Royal marriages between cousins were extremely common during the middle-ages, and given that they bend over backwards to make it very clear that they are from different branches of the same family and not that closely related, I think it's clear that they're not 1st cousins, and probably not even 2nd cousins. As for their looking alike, the game also makes it clear that all Geislar's have the same hair. It's a distinguishing trait of the family including its branches. Furthermore a marriage between the Royals means closer ties between Geislar and Icesilia, which is politically significant. I don't see what marriage to a tradeswoman like Amber adds politically speaking.


Regardless, what matters is, he might have thought that making the marriage between the prince and Amber not only he was paying the life debt that he owned to her, but also silencing his daughter and nephew insistent marriage request, giving another kind of gossip to the nobles to focus,


This would be out of the frying pan into the fire. I don't see why the King would prefer the fire over the frying pan. I get that the family would rather add new lands that aren't already in the family's keeping over simply strengthening and consolidating existing ties within the family. Nevertheless, at least the prince is of equal station to his daughter, and a public marriage between them would strengthen ties between their side of the family and the main branch. A marriage with Amber doesn't even give that. She's a tradeswoman with no family to speak of.



I just don't see why the King would screw his daughter and heir over with a private marriage. The in-game reasoning comes across as shallow and poorly thought out. It's incomprehensible, and ruins this ending for me. It should either be a double public marriage (this kingdom is supposed to be LGBT friendly according to Jack) or if there is an issue with the poly-thing, a public marriage between Cosmina and Reed (they're the royals with lands and powerful families!!!) followed by a private marriage where they bring Amber into their marriage and form a triad.


giving a good image for Icesilia as a tolerant nation and lastly,


A tolerant nation would accept a poly double marriage. There would be no need for a second private marriage. It makes it seem like the King's daughter and heir will be keeping her own marriage in the closet and that makes no sense. It not only disrespects the future Queen of Icesilia but opens up a giant can of political worms regarding the legitimacy of the Queen's marriage.


giving the oportunity to call off whatever issues the prince and princess might have with Amber at a later date without any trouble.


I don't understand this comment. Given the public marriage between the prince and Amber, I don't see how any issues he has can later be called off.


Another thing, let's not forget that the marriages were between Amber and Reed(public marriage) and Reed and Cosmina. There never wasn't one between Cosmina and Amber, and the dialog in the party while they were dancing, Amber ask if it she really wanted to dance with her, since people might find it troublesome. I don't know how they see LGBT's in Aravorn in general, but there might be some prejudice there...


Jack has already answered this question, so we'll go with his answer. Aravorn is LGBT friendly. I'm not sure if it's poly friendly as well, but if it wasn't, I don't see why the king would have even considered allowing Amber to marry both royals.
P_Tigras
Yeah main issue was on my part for labeling them yuri, when it's clear that even the original/previous writer never intended them to be like that. I repeat myself again, but in future I'll be VERY careful to not make such mistakes (by mistake I mean labeling "wrong" a romance type, not that having poly route was a mistake in itself).



Also because I don't plan to get myself so burned out again in future :mrgreen:


Yes, I most definitely agree that it's never good to create expectations you aren't planning to meet, even accidentally. That can lead to large numbers of angry customers and bad reviews. I'm glad you're aware of that and taking action to avoid that giant pithole.



Nevertheless, my own point is that it wouldn't be a significant amount of work to make a yuri path for Cosmina given what's already there. Having looked at all of her dialogue, I'm fairly certain I could knock out the writing in a single weekend. In fact, if it were possible to --legally-- distribute a community-mod for the game, just as we once used to do for Neverwinter Nights and the first Dragon Age, I'd probably write it at this point.
jack1974
I'm not sure, you should rewrite in practice all the adult scenes, so 5, plus the endings. I don't know the adult amount but the whole Cosmina path was about 24k words, so you should write 12k words. Not so easy I think :)
Madance
Yeah main issue was on my part for labeling them yuri, when it's clear that even the original/previous writer never intended them to be like that. I repeat myself again, but in future I'll be VERY careful to not make such mistakes (by mistake I mean labeling "wrong" a romance type, not that having poly route was a mistake in itself).



Also because I don't plan to get myself so burned out again in future :mrgreen:


Yes, I most definitely agree that it's never good to create expectations you aren't planning to meet, even accidentally. That can lead to large numbers of angry customers and bad reviews. I'm glad you're aware of that and taking action to avoid that giant pithole.



Nevertheless, my own point is that it wouldn't be a significant amount of work to make a yuri path for Cosmina given what's already there. Having looked at all of her dialogue, I'm fairly certain I could knock out the writing in a single weekend. In fact, if it were possible to --legally-- distribute a community-mod for the game, just as we once used to do for Neverwinter Nights and the first Dragon Age, I'd probably write it at this point.


If you could make this come true, I would be the first in line to try it XD
jack1974
I stand corrected, you should rewrite only from scene7 to the end. So yes much less than I thought (sorry if you already explained that, but hadn't time to read everything).
Madance
I stand corrected, you should rewrite only from scene7 to the end. So yes much less than I thought (sorry if you already explained that, but hadn't time to read everything).


Well, if we all waited patiently for almost 4 years for the yuri version of the UNSPEAKABLE CURSED GAME to come out, to wait a few more months for the rewritten dialog of the Cosmina path would be a walk in the beach in comparison XD



But really, at this point, I'm just chilling here, I loved the character, regardless of anything.
P_Tigras
Hmmm...scene 7 (the love scene) is 2,577 words. That would be the most significant rewrite. There is a 1,831 word section of scene 9 (troll hunting pda) that needs some serious editing. I'd probably want to add a few hundred words to the ending scene as well. The alterations to the rest would be trivial. Scene 6 already has a date scene with just Cosmina. I'd just need to edit the logic determining which date she goes on. Scenes 8 and 10 can be left virtually as is, a handful of word removals for the Cosmina path are all that's required. My estimate is 5k, plus or minus 0.5k, so between 4.5k and 5.5k words total.
P_Tigras
Yeah main issue was on my part for labeling them yuri, when it's clear that even the original/previous writer never intended them to be like that. I repeat myself again, but in future I'll be VERY careful to not make such mistakes (by mistake I mean labeling "wrong" a romance type, not that having poly route was a mistake in itself).



Also because I don't plan to get myself so burned out again in future :mrgreen:


Yes, I most definitely agree that it's never good to create expectations you aren't planning to meet, even accidentally. That can lead to large numbers of angry customers and bad reviews. I'm glad you're aware of that and taking action to avoid that giant pithole.



Nevertheless, my own point is that it wouldn't be a significant amount of work to make a yuri path for Cosmina given what's already there. Having looked at all of her dialogue, I'm fairly certain I could knock out the writing in a single weekend. In fact, if it were possible to --legally-- distribute a community-mod for the game, just as we once used to do for Neverwinter Nights and the first Dragon Age, I'd probably write it at this point.


If you could make this come true, I would be the first in line to try it XD


Maybe Jack and I can work something out. We'll see what he wants to do. :wink:
Madance
Maybe Jack and I can work something out. We'll see what he wants to do. :wink:







YEEEEEES! *Do a silly little mad dance XD* THANKS P_Tigras SENPAI and Jack SAMA! :mrgreen:
SimonStardust
(Note to myself: Don't start proofreading Cosmina's route just yet.)

:lol: :lol: :lol:
jack1974

Maybe Jack and I can work something out. We'll see what he wants to do. :wink:

Well if you make this "mod", I can say that in the worst case you'll be allowed to distribute it legally with my permission (it could be done just by replacing a file) but maybe (if time allows, as you know I'm always busy...) I could even try to find a way to enable this optional version in the game itself, without any need to mess with the files :mrgreen:
Madance
Well, Jack, I wish Amber could refuse(during the scene) to be part of the threesome, since this option isn't in the game. The only way to terminate the romance is either to disable it completely at the start of the adult part or to cancel it when the "choose whose character you are going to breakup with" window appears. However, this game window is sorta troublesome since it automatically treats the relationship with the character as if Amber was dating them, which isn't the case with most in game situations. Example, if you choose to break up with Lynn as soon as this in game window appears, Amber will treat/say to her that they were dating for some time but she was interested in someone else and because of this, she need to break up. HOWEVER, they aren't at a point in the romance where they are involved with each other, they are still just friends.

What I mean to say is that this window isn't in par with the rest of the story, since it assumes too much regarding Amber's relationship with the character that is being dumped.

I hope I explained what I'm trying to say, since its complicated to put it in words...
P_Tigras

Maybe Jack and I can work something out. We'll see what he wants to do. :wink:

Well if you make this "mod", I can say that in the worst case you'll be allowed to distribute it legally with my permission (it could be done just by replacing a file)


Thank you. While dropping in a replacement cosmina.rpyc file into the plot directory would be easiest, I fear that walking the non-technically savvy through the replacement would turn into a major support headache as there's always someone who botches it up even with the best documentation possible.


but maybe (if time allows, as you know I'm always busy...) I could even try to find a way to enable this optional version in the game itself, without any need to mess with the files :mrgreen:


Having it included in the game would most definitely be optimal. So I hope so. Nevertheless I'm reading between the lines here that you're reserving the right not to include my edits if they don't meet your quality standards. And that's absolutely fine and no less than I'd expect. Having said that, assuming I do write this thing, I'd expect you to at least take a good look at it once completed and consider including it. It would be much more straightforward for me to simply send you a replacement for the cosmina rpy game file than it would be to turn it into a separately downloadable mod with a cross-platform installation script.


(Note to myself: Don't start proofreading Cosmina's route just yet.)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


The Cosmina+Reed path won't be changing, and I know there are still a handful of minor typo's left in the existing path as I recall encountering them in my read-through. So feel free to post your list. I'll include your fixes in what I send Jack. Or if Jack gets around to adding them first I can always diff his newer file against the original I worked from, and then patch my end so he doesn't need to do it twice. Regardless, I can make it work either way. Thanks for being considerate though.
KagenNoTsuki

Maybe Jack and I can work something out. We'll see what he wants to do. :wink:

Well if you make this "mod", I can say that in the worst case you'll be allowed to distribute it legally with my permission (it could be done just by replacing a file)


LOL. Given that Ren'Py is an entirely new programming platform for me, I'm unable to put a finger on just how much additional time I'd need to figure out how to make Ren'Py -safely- patch an existing game installation and test the result to my satisfaction, assuming that's within its capabilities. I'd need to dig into Ren'Py farther than I have so far. And if it isn't within Ren'Py's capabilities, I'd need to find some other cross-platform solution. It might well take me just as much time or even longer than the edits to the cosmina rpy game file. For Neverwinter Nights and Dragon Age it was all part of the toolset.


but maybe (if time allows, as you know I'm always busy...) I could even try to find a way to enable this optional version in the game itself, without any need to mess with the files :mrgreen:


Having it included in the game if the player chooses Yuri would most definitely be optimal. Nevertheless I'm reading between the lines here that you're reserving the right not to include my edits if they don't meet your quality standards. And that's absolutely fine and no less than I'd expect. Having said that, assuming I do write this thing, I'd expect you to at least take a good look at it once completed and consider including it. It would be much more straightforward for me to simply send you a replacement for the cosmina rpy game file than it would be to turn it into a full blown mod that is separately downloaded.


(Note to myself: Don't start proofreading Cosmina's route just yet.)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


The Cosmina+Reed path won't be changing, and I know there are still a handful of minor typo's left in the existing path as I recall encountering them in my read-through. So feel free to post your list. I'll include your fixes in what I send Jack. Or if Jack gets around to adding them first I can always diff his newer file against the original I worked from, and then patch my end so he doesn't need to do it twice. Regardless, I can make it work either way. Thanks for being considerate though.

As a longtime lurker, I feel there would be no better first post than to say that if you actually do this THANK YOU SO MUCH! :)
jack1974

Having it included in the game would most definitely be optimal. So I hope so. Nevertheless I'm reading between the lines here that you're reserving the right not to include my edits if they don't meet your quality standards. And that's absolutely fine and no less than I'd expect. Having said that, assuming I do write this thing, I'd expect you to at least take a good look at it once completed and consider including it. It would be much more straightforward for me to simply send you a replacement for the cosmina rpy game file than it would be to turn it into a separately downloadable mod with a cross-platform installation script.

Yes if you write it, I'll read it for sure! I'll maybe show it to some writer friends for a second opinion like I usually do (since I'm not a native speaker). But for sure you wouldn't write it for nothing, no worries :) thanks!
SimonStardust
(Note to myself: Don't start proofreading Cosmina's route just yet.)

:lol: :lol: :lol:

The Cosmina+Reed path won't be changing, and I know there are still a handful of minor typo's left in the existing path as I recall encountering them in my read-through. So feel free to post your list. I'll include your fixes in what I send Jack. Or if Jack gets around to adding them first I can always diff his newer file against the original I worked from, and then patch my end so he doesn't need to do it twice. Regardless, I can make it work either way. Thanks for being considerate though.


That's a relief to hear. Although I am going to do Ruby first anyway.

Won't be necessary to post the list as Jack sent me the files to proofread directly. ^^
P_Tigras

Having it included in the game would most definitely be optimal. So I hope so. Nevertheless I'm reading between the lines here that you're reserving the right not to include my edits if they don't meet your quality standards. And that's absolutely fine and no less than I'd expect. Having said that, assuming I do write this thing, I'd expect you to at least take a good look at it once completed and consider including it. It would be much more straightforward for me to simply send you a replacement for the cosmina rpy game file than it would be to turn it into a separately downloadable mod with a cross-platform installation script.

Yes if you write it, I'll read it for sure! I'll maybe show it to some writer friends for a second opinion like I usually do (since I'm not a native speaker). But for sure you wouldn't write it for nothing, no worries :) thanks!


Sounds great! I probably won't be able to put any real time in it until the weekend, but this should be fun. We'll see how accurate my time estimate ends up being. :mrgreen:



Madance & KagenNoTsuki: I do very much appreciate your kind words and your excitement validates my effort. :yes:
Madance
I'm the one that should be thankful! Goodness, I wish I was a natural english speaker or a programmer savvy so i could give at least some help, unfortunately, this isn't so T_______T

The only thing i can do... Is support the game/mods/related content and of course, make all kinds of fanfics and fancomics based on them(I swear, Amber is the Winter Wolves game with more possibilities of a fan comic adaptation, there so much ways that the story and the characters can evolve!)
KagenNoTsuki
Madance & KagenNoTsuki: I do very much appreciate your kind words and your excitement validates my effort. :yes:


No, thank YOU for doing something like this just so losers like me can get more of their Yuri fix lol
Beardy Bro
just make next game yuri harem and we'll call it even :gamer: