Typos Thread!

A VN/CCG hybrid game currently in development
Troyen
Elder Druid
Posts: 857
Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 2:23 am

Re: Typos Thread!

Post by Troyen » Mon Dec 07, 2015 9:02 am

New Empire Cards Unlocked! (Scene 03)
- Right-click to examine them.

Mission 04
(recon unit explanation)
- all invisible units and increase our power!

Scene 04
Spoiler:
- Wait, who is your first mother? (question mark)

-As interesting as that line of thought may be (two words)

-rubble in my hands (not heads)

User avatar
Franka
Elder Druid
Posts: 1082
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2012 3:07 pm

Re: Typos Thread!

Post by Franka » Mon Dec 07, 2015 9:45 am

I was saving all of Jack's typos on cards for later, once we had all cards released, because I know there are a lot. :lol:

Troyen
Elder Druid
Posts: 857
Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 2:23 am

Re: Typos Thread!

Post by Troyen » Mon Dec 07, 2015 9:57 am

Yeah, but I probably won't remember them all then. :p

Marksman Team
- Every turn the marksman team's attack increases by 1, until it has 4 attack.

Scene 05
Spoiler:
Mizuki's line:
- there is great slow down (I'm not quite sure what she's trying to say here, so I don't have any suggestions, but it reads weird.)

- the empire was facing an attack near Alpha Centauri.

- the first time my command was on its own.
Scene 06
Spoiler:
- no idea just what the hell is going on here.

- from the stars.

- You're talking desertion, you know that? (question mark)

Troyen
Elder Druid
Posts: 857
Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 2:23 am

Re: Typos Thread!

Post by Troyen » Tue Dec 08, 2015 2:54 am

Mission 07
Spoiler:
game/plot/missions.rpy 764
- Doesn't that beat all? (it's a rhetorical question, but it's still a question)
- I wonder what advice she'd give now. (delete the erroneous "she" before "advice")

789
Orbis, and they drop from the sky is much more deadly. (this makes no sense)
- we need to destroy them.

811
- would need to be giant-monster certified? (question mark)

815
I'm not sure a semi-colon is appropriate here. Seems like a place for an em-dash?
First Galina Talk (I thought this was supposed to be DLC-only?)
Spoiler:
game/plot/friendship.rpy 2886
- the teacher was trying to figure out
First Christophe Talk
Spoiler:
game/plot/friendship.rpy 1454
- I shouldn't have you jailed? (rhetorical questions are still questions!)
First Mario Talk
Spoiler:
friendship2.rpy 1483
- breakout of zits. (one word)
First Samuel Talk
Spoiler:
friendship2.rpy 4357
"and time to return him home." (is missing a subject - "then it's time"?)
First Graciela Talk
Spoiler:
friendship.rpy 3571
- ride it for pleasure?

3600
- my treat?
First Mizuki Talk
Spoiler:
friendship2.rpy 2924
- to death?

2927
- he was truly a psychic detective (line before says "a psychic" and the second part uses "he" anyway which doesn't match with "they")

2930
Nit: I think in-game needs a hyphen?

2938
Graciela's line here is odd. Diane just said she likes board games, Graciela inserts a remark about lag, and everyone else goes back to talking about analog gaming.
Someone's First Talk (I forgot who - Rigel maybe?)
Spoiler:
Ballroom dancing
friendship2.rpy 3534
- creep in too much.

3592
- Captain
Mira's First Talk
Spoiler:
friendship2.rpy 2162
- tonight?

2176
Tenses don't match. Probably want "I see"

2270
-show you where
Xavier
Spoiler:
friendship2.rpy 4978
-I introduce (or "May I", but not "My")
Last edited by Troyen on Tue Dec 08, 2015 4:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

Troyen
Elder Druid
Posts: 857
Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 2:23 am

Re: Typos Thread!

Post by Troyen » Tue Dec 08, 2015 5:38 am

Scene before Mission 8 (don't have line number, sorry):
- Power, and <talking about restoring facilities> - delete the comma.

Mission 9
Spoiler:
missions.rpy
966 Mizuki says "even I don't have the clearance for it"
970 Diane says "I might be mistaken, but isn't this above your clearance?"
973 The line from Mizuki should read "...that's what I just said!" ;)

During the battle:
"Use Mizuki's Hacker unit and Unoptimal Balance cards" (s, also the casing is inconsistent - Unit should be capitalized or balance lowercase, no?)
Scene 09
Spoiler:
talk.rpy 2372
I'm not sure "the" is needed before "blurring censorship"

2485
- would they believe us?

2489
"There won't be a lot of other choice." (were you going for "They won't have a choice."?)

2517
"then" is unnecessary here

Mission 10
1171
- but I can't do that.
Scene 10
Spoiler:
talk.rpy 2620
I don't think the "at this time" is needed, makes it sound a little awkward.

2799
- a brave thing!

User avatar
Miakoda
Elder Druid
Posts: 871
Joined: Sat Sep 28, 2013 8:05 pm

Re: Typos Thread!

Post by Miakoda » Thu Dec 10, 2015 1:32 am

Almost everything is caught up here except for the Cards, and first part of the instructions.

User avatar
jack1974
Pack leader
Posts: 13629
Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2005 4:43 pm

Re: Typos Thread!

Post by jack1974 » Thu Dec 10, 2015 7:24 am

For cards, I'll hold off until they're all "final". Since if I change a card ability, the description will change too. Though of course at this point, except for a few cards, I don't plan any big changes :)

Alex81
Woods ranger
Posts: 143
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 1:44 am

Re: Typos Thread!

Post by Alex81 » Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:03 pm

In the second dialogue with Lucius, Mira says the following sentence :

"Fear, and guilt. Even after I built you, there were many who were offended you by your shape ; they said it made a mockery of the human form"

(That's a YOU too much no?) That's the only real typo in the sentence (I might've worded that entire sentence differently as well, but I'm really only looking for typos)

Alex81
Woods ranger
Posts: 143
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 1:44 am

Re: Typos Thread!

Post by Alex81 » Sun Dec 20, 2015 8:14 pm

In what I think is, Alex's third (or maybe 4th) party dialogue, he explains to Graciela how he (and Diana) came to be from two different countries,after Alex and Diana's parents split up. The sentence goes :

" In retrospect, I could see they tried to make it go during the last year, but it just didn't feel right"

That sentence looks very ....strange / wrong to me at least. If I read it correctly Alex is saying their parents tried to make their relationship work,
perhaps the sentence should be more like :

Suggestion :

"In retrospect, I could see they tried to make it work / I saw/knew they tried to make their relationship work."

The original sentence, might read they -tried- to make their relationship/marriage fail, instead of trying to make it work.
Trade the word GO with WORK ( or maybe think up a new way to word the sentence?)

Alex81
Woods ranger
Posts: 143
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 1:44 am

Re: Typos Thread!

Post by Alex81 » Mon Dec 21, 2015 6:12 pm

Near ending sequence I got this line
Spoiler:
MIra gives a glance in the direction of Lucius who is now engaged in a rather one-sided conversation with a couple of awestruck childen

Might want a comma , after Lucius, and add an R to the word children

Post Reply