I think it can be easily said that in all--or at least almost all--of the romances Saren/Elenor does more of the healing than s/he receives. That can be said with a lot of other games (well, in the RPGs that I've played.) when it comes to romances as well, I believe. The player character ends up becoming the adventuring group's psychiatrist. Despite any of the negativity I had spewed in that long post of mine what I greatly appreciated in this game was that so many of the characters weren't above asking how Saren/Elenor was faring and then did something about it in their own way. Certainly made it easier to care about what was going on. Means there's a lot of good writing in this game.
So when I reached that scene of Amukiki trying to publicly take away what little respect and authority Saren had when Loren asked about who to go after first... I suddenly stopped caring about what was going on with Amukiki. To me it came across as his sense of pride being of so much importance that Amukiki did not really care if it harmed anyone else around him. How he acted during the confrontation with the corrupted barbarian pretty much reinforced that to me as well, that Amukiki was more interested in his sense of honor and pride even if it hurt (or potentially killed!) the people around him. After all, there he was still insisting to do everything his way when it came to fighting the other barbarian even though the rest of the party was mere moments away from getting slaughtered by the orc army. If it wasn't for Saren deciding to take orcs prisoners or just straight up attacking the corrupt barbarian himself, everybody there would have likely died.
I still don't understand how if you choose the taking orcs as prisoners option as somehow something Amukiki felt some pride in about... wouldn't holding others hostage to get what you want be against a sense of honor and pride? Especially since it just lead to convincing/manipulating the orcs to kill Krul themselves. How is that honor in battle? I thought the point of Amukiki insisting on taking on the other barbarian in a duel was to actually defeat the other in 1 vs 1 combat with some rules that have to be followed. If he didn't have a problem with unfair odds, then Saren and the rest attacking Krul shouldn't have bothered him--after all, by then Krul had the orcs attack Amukiki, Dora had gotten stab happy, and Rei had shot a bolt in Krul's neck. Duel? What duel? So again, it came across as Amukiki's pride worth more than the lives of others. As long as he didn't do anything to harm his sense of self, it didn't matter how it actually effected others.
While what I had seen of this relationship path was well written, I found it greatly detrimental in my search for a healthy!Saren/Elenor.
There's probably a lot of redundancy in what I just wrote, but please forgive me. I suffer from lack of coffee. Will try to fix when I am more awake.
The reason I didn't get the same kind of reaction with Mesphit like I did with Loren pretty much comes down to how it was revealed that Mesphit hadn't specifically wanted to turn into an insane half-demon at times. He had simply wanted to help improve the lot of his people and was willing to do whatever it took, even at the cost of himself. It was just unfortunate that he wasn't smart enough to question and wonder about any loopholes Jul might take advantage of when he sought more power to help other dark elves. I think that is the goodness Saren/Elenor saw in Mesphit--that desire to help others even at the cost of himself. To me it seemed that Aren/Elenor learned/gained from Mesphit is someone who made her question what is or isn't evil, along with someone who was willing to listen to him/her when it came time to talk about what s/he went through as a slave in one particular scene. Elenor specifically mentions how much she needed that. For someone to listen to her and be there for her, who specifically needed her in turn to help push back the demonic insanity. Wonder why that was taken out of Saren's path. A lot more is straight up said in Elenor's than it was in Saren's.
And yeah, I know what you are saying about Rei. By completing his personal quest and choosing a certain dialogue option near the end of the game when he wants to shoot Mesphit you can get him to be more accepting. Wonder if what Rei says in the love triangle confrontation changes if you complete his personal quest before then. >.>