As with the other games, you won't find many other typos/suggestions.
There's a lot of work to be done today, and it's already 8:00am.
I would recommend putting a space between 8:00 and 'am', and capitalize the 'am' (Later dialogues actually have AM as capitalized, and spaced)
...and it's already 8:00 AM.
Sam holds up his hands in self defense.
Put a hyphen between 'self' and 'defense' to get 'self-defense'
Oh, I'll guess I'll go then.
Having two "I'll" is a little awkward. I would recommend changing the first 'I'll' to just 'I' to get:
Oh, I guess I'll go then.
It's fine you, can laugh.
Move the comma to after 'fine':
It's fine, you can laugh.
Sam marches into his kitchen with a a hint of a smirk on his face.
You have two 'a's after 'with'. One can be removed:
Sam marches into his kitchen with a hint of a smirk on his face.
Besides, I'll burn if off working outside later today, anyway.
The 'if' should be 'it':
Besides, I'll burn it off working outside later today, anyway.
Dating / farming sim with scheduler: http://www.winterwolves.com/theflowershop.htm
1 post • Page 1 of 1
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest