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Steam Winter in Fairbrook Typos / Suggestion

Dating / farming sim with scheduler: http://www.winterwolves.com/theflowershop.htm
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Miakoda
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Steam Winter in Fairbrook Typos / Suggestion

Postby Miakoda » Mon Jun 30, 2014 11:40 pm

As with the other games, you won't find many other typos/suggestions.

Original:
Susana
There's a lot of work to be done today, and it's already 8:00am.

Suggestion:
I would recommend putting a space between 8:00 and 'am', and capitalize the 'am' (Later dialogues actually have AM as capitalized, and spaced)
...and it's already 8:00 AM.

Original:
Sam holds up his hands in self defense.

Suggestion:
Put a hyphen between 'self' and 'defense' to get 'self-defense'

Original:
Natalie
Oh, I'll guess I'll go then.

Suggestion:
Having two "I'll" is a little awkward. I would recommend changing the first 'I'll' to just 'I' to get:
Oh, I guess I'll go then.

Original:
Natalie
It's fine you, can laugh.

Suggestion:
Move the comma to after 'fine':
It's fine, you can laugh.

Original:
Sam marches into his kitchen with a a hint of a smirk on his face.

Suggestion:
You have two 'a's after 'with'. One can be removed:
Sam marches into his kitchen with a hint of a smirk on his face.

Original:
Steve
Besides, I'll burn if off working outside later today, anyway.

Suggestion:
The 'if' should be 'it':
Besides, I'll burn it off working outside later today, anyway.

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